My fellow Americans:
I don’t understand country music. What is it about straw cowboy hats and plaid shirts that captivates the American people so much? On top of that, is everyone on meth? Yesterday, we as a country, celebrated the single greatest day of the year: the 4th of July. In Boston, one of these country bros played a concert. I’m embarrassed to say that our country can be defined by a bunch of twangy, depressing bollocks. When people think of “American Music,” they aren’t thinking of Hanson. No, sir. They’re thinking about country music. Don’t get me wrong, I can drunkenly sing Garth Brooks’ “Friends In Low Places” with the best of them, but I’ve decided that we need to make a better name for ourselves. I’ve compiled some videos that I think more accurately exemplify what American music is all about. I’m not saying we need to abandon the National Anthem for these songs but come on, America. You’re better than that.
Ice Cube agrees. Forget about it, Toby Keith.
Ben Folds (an Dr. Dre) say sit down, Lady Antebellum.
Let’s see you do that, Brooks and Dunn.
And finally . . .
Can you do that, Brad Paisley? Didn’t think so.
I think I’ve made my point. Regardless, these colors don’t run. Stay free.
(Check out The Record Crate for more freedom-defining jams.)
